International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, Inc.
International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, Inc.
By: Matthew Joyner, Peer Support Program Manager
It was a clear afternoon at work as I headed out to lunch from my office in Artesia, NM. While driving I noticed a friend’s vehicle parked in a vacant lot outside our training area. I figured he was doing what I did when I wanted to relax, and just go somewhere quiet away from everyone. I found out I was wrong on my way back to work when I observed a large number of emergency vehicles parked around his car. As I looked to see what the commotion was, I got a phone call stating that my fun loving and always-upbeat friend had taken a weapon from our armory, drove to the field, and shot himself. I was shocked, not at the suicide because I had seen plenty of that in my 26 years, but at how happy and content I thought he had been. Now he was lying dead in his vehicle with a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Much like similar incidents I had experienced, I made my way back to my office where I sat dumbfounded, trying my best to process the devastating news. What happened next changed my perspective on how we handle these incidents, and challenged my previous beliefs on what support individuals could use to assist them in recovery after experiencing an unexpected event.
I sat in my office trying to figure out what I had missed, what he was thinking, and what I could have done to stop my friend’s suicide. My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on my office door. Outside stood Ashely, who introduced herself as a member of the Peer Support team with CISM. She explained CISM was the Critical Incident Stress Management office and she wanted to check on me and see if I needed any support, or just simply to talk about the incident. Up to this point in my life my talks after critical incidents went more like, “Let’s go get some beer,” or “Just let it go,” so I was unsure of how to respond. The next thing I knew I was speaking with Ashley and becoming more relaxed, and my anxieties and racing thoughts began to settle. I did not know the process that she was utilizing at the time, but knew I was being heard while processing my thoughts and emotions aloud. I did not feel interrogated or like she was trying to “fix me.” In fact, I felt like I was having a conversation with a friend. Following our conversation I watched as Ashley moved through our training area checking in on others that may have been affected by tragedy. Having just experienced the positive results of her occupation, I was curious about her work and wanted to know more. Deep down, I wanted to know if someone like me could help others in that same way.
Shortly after this incident in 2007, I began my journey with International Critical Incident Stress Management (ICISF) and CISM by becoming a member of the Peer Support Team. In 2008, I completed training in individual and group response and began using my skills right away. I was reaching out to first responders, dispatchers, and trainees in every level of government. The passion and drive continued as the years passed, and my experience level grew. This is when I decided to take the next step forward.
In 2010, I took the necessary classes to become a certified ICISF instructor. While instructing a Peer Support Certification class comprised of law enforcement officers from all over the country, my previous experiences with critical incidents became a beneficial way for me to demonstrate the uniqueness of unexpected events. I started a discussion regarding how an unexpected event may be the event that sticks with you most. Since I believe in using real life experiences to help demonstrate relevance of what is being taught, I used a few examples from my past as a narcotics officer. I discussed various shootings I had been involved in, horrible wrecks I had seen and murders I had investigated. I then asked the class, by a raise of hands, who thought I might experience nightmares, anxiety, or Post Traumatic Stress after any of these events. Hands went up throughout the class. I expected this conclusion, but wanted to dive deeper into the understanding of why I had not experienced those symptoms and reactions to those events. In a way, I expected those types of events because it was the very nature of the job. I had however, experienced an event that was so out of the normal, so random, that it affected me in a very different manner.
Up until now I had only spoke of my accident in the Marine Corps to a few close and trusted friends. I had always seen it as a negative, but through my time working in the peer support arena, I was able to reframe my accident with the help of other trained peers. As the class listened, I explained that as a Marine conducting search and rescue missions in Louisiana following hurricane Katrina, I never expected to have a tree come over the front of my vehicle and crush my face. This was something I never trained for and was subsequently something that stuck with me and would not let go. I suffered from nightmares, severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and anxiety. This was truly an unexpected event. As the story ended, a sense of peace came over me. I walked across the front of the classroom and stated again, what I had said at the beginning of this class, “Sometimes it is the unexpected that throws someone into crisis”.
I could see the class understood and grasped the concept of the unexpected event. I moved back around the classroom and told them that this story was my unexpected that created an environment that was very unhealthy, but there is also the unexpected that comes into our lives that can change the negative to a positive. This unexpected for me was a peer support team member reaching out to me, hearing me, showing me they cared and did not judge me. This “unexpected” is so much more powerful than the negative unexpected. This unexpected erased the negative reactions I had toward my accident, and taught me to reframe it into a positive so that I could help others in the future.
At the conclusion of the class, I looked out at each one of them and said, “Thank you for being here. Thank you for taking this class and thank you for becoming a part of the unexpected that will change lives in our first responder community for the positive. Many times, never known to us, you will save lives by being that unexpected installation of hope to that first responder who had decided to end it all. So be proud of yourselves as you go forth in this unexpected world.”
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International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, Inc is a 501(c)3 Non Profit