Let’s Talk About Mental Health By Conrad Weaver

LET’S TALK ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH

By: Conrad Weaver

How do you start the conversation about mental health and posttraumatic stress (PTS), or posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD)? Up until recently, most first responders have not been keen on talking about these things. I was once told by an “old-timer” that, “In my day, we dealt with these things with, ‘Suck it up, here’s a beer.” We can clearly see where that has led us.

Does the “suck it up” culture still exist? Yes, I’ve seen it alive and well. While many of us—and I suspect many who are reading this post—are immersed in the wellness space, there are many more who’ve never even talked about this.

A few months ago, we held a film screening of PTSD911 in a southern state. After the film ended, a fire chief came up to me with his arms crossed. He said, “I didn’t think I had a problem until I saw your film.” What followed was a long conversation about his struggles and the lack of resources and conversation about these things at his agency. He acknowledged that, aside from an occasional after-action meeting, they have never talked about mental health at his firehouse.

I think this is not unique. Another battalion chief I spoke with recently said he has faced repercussions from his chief for getting involved in mental health conferences and activities. If we are going to have healthy first responders who thrive and prosper, then there needs to be a movement to get leaders talking about and doing the things necessary to create a culture that promotes health and wellness.
This stigma was evident when we attended a recent conference for firefighters. It’s a huge event with more than 30,000 firefighters attending. We had the opportunity to have a presence in their “Wellness Pavilion.” I was excited about this and thought that we would be able to connect with tens of thousands of firefighters and share what we’re doing with the film and related resources.

Unfortunately, the conference organizers placed the “Wellness Pavilion” outside the main exhibit hall and off to the side, away from most of the foot traffic. The pavilion was also cordoned off and hidden behind black curtains with one primary entry point. Attendees had to know that it was there and make an extra effort to walk to that area of the venue to visit. We had printed 1,000 info cards to hand out, and I was certain that we had brought along far too few. But I was very mistaken. I returned with more than half of the cards.

Compared to the main exhibit hall, we had very few people come to the pavilion. There were times when no one came through the pavilion at all. All of the vendors were frustrated. In my view, the organization stigmatized health and wellness by hiding it behind curtains and putting it off to the side. They perpetuated the idea that wellness is not to be talked about. “Let’s hide it behind curtains.” We have some work to do.
Talking about mental health IS hard. But so is battling PTSD. Choose your hard. Are you willing to continue burying those who end their own lives, or are you brave enough to have hard conversations that could lead to change?
So how do you start these vital conversations that lead to change? Here are some ideas that may help you and your team open up about wellness and mental health.

1. Share Personal Stories: Begin by sharing a relatable story about your struggles. Personal anecdotes can help break the ice and make the conversation more relatable and less intimidating. This is why documentary films, like PTSD911 (shameless plug), are so powerful. There’s something about hearing someone’s story that helps you relate. I often hear this from people who attend our screenings; they see themselves in the story. Stories like these show how important it is to talk about our mental health, especially when the story comes from a leader. When the chief, captain, or sergeant shares their story, it makes it okay for others to share their own stories and acknowledge their struggles.
   People want authentic leaders. Sharing your struggles doesn’t make you seem weak; it makes you real. In the PTSD911 film, firefighter Matty talks about the time when two sheriff deputies began sharing their struggles with him and helped him realize that he’s not alone in the struggle. I love what Simon Sinek says about leadership: “It is the weak leader that compensates by acting strong. It is the strong leader that allows people to see when they are weak.” Let your people see the real you.
2. Acknowledge the Stigma: Open the conversation by addressing the historical “suck it up” mentality. Say something like, “We all know the old mentality of ‘suck it up and have a beer.’ But we can see where that’s led us. It’s time to move past this and start talking about our mental health.” This sets the stage for a more open discussion and recognizes the existing challenges. Hiding the stigma behind curtains or ignoring that it exists exacerbates the problem. Get it out in the open and expose it.
3. Highlight the Consequences of Silence: Emphasize the negative impacts of not talking about mental health. When we hide and pretend we don’t have a problem, the problem actually gets worse. Not talking about these issues can lead to serious consequences, both personally and professionally. We need to support each other in seeking help, not punish those who do. When we talk about it with our peers and workmates, we begin to understand and know that we are not alone.
4. Create a Safe Space: Encourage the formation of safe, non-judgmental spaces for first responders to discuss their mental health. Encourage regular check-ins or participation in peer support groups where responders can talk openly without fear of judgment. Make these resources more visible and accessible, unlike the hidden wellness pavilion at the recent conference. The importance of feeling safe when revealing vulnerable and personal information is vital. Several years ago, I was invited to attend an AA meeting in Washington, D.C. It was a group that had been meeting for more than 30 years and included all races, genders, ages, and ethnicities. What I found there was a supportive, loving group that didn’t judge. They held each other accountable when needed, but they loved and supported each other unlike any group I’ve experienced. It was refreshing. It was a safe space for deeper conversations. This is what’s needed in our first responder agencies. We need a place where deep conversations can be discussed without fear of reprisal.
5. Leadership Involvement: Leaders have a lot on their shoulders these days, but the health of the people they lead must be a priority. Simon Sinek says, “Leadership is not about being in charge; it’s about taking care of the people in our charge.” If there are people in your charge who are unhealthy, it’s on you as a leader to help them become healthy. What are you doing about it? Have you created an environment that supports those who are struggling? Someone once said that unhealthy first responders make unhealthy decisions. When leaders genuinely show they care, this builds trust and people feel supported. When people feel supported, they will often work longer hours for less money, and they will stay. When they feel unsupported, they will quit. When leaders are absent from these discussions, it lessens the value of the conversation. Over and over on my travels across the country, I hear that leadership is failing the first responders. Why? Maybe it’s because they are not willing to deal with or admit their struggles? John Maxwell is famous for saying, “Everything rises and falls on leadership.” If you want to get your people talking and doing something about mental health, then you as a leader must lead. Set the example. First, take care of yourself, do the hard work, then and only then will you be able to start that conversation with your people that leads to a change of culture.

Starting the conversation about mental health and PTSD among first responders is challenging but essential in changing the culture. That’s what my new Fire Chief friend is doing down south! He’s reaching out to others who have been there, and he’s leading the charge at his department. I can’t wait to hear how things are going there.

We need more leaders like him. Leaders who are willing to have the hard conversations and do what’s necessary to instigate change. It’s up to leaders to lead the charge. The people in your care will follow. Now, will you do that hard thing?

Biography

Conrad Weaver is an Award-winning documentary filmmaker, podcast host, speaker producer, and director with a passion for telling stories that matter. Conrad has been telling stories through documentary films for more than ten years, and his films and work have taken him from the slums of Guatemala and orphanages in Ukraine, to the Halls of Congress on Capitol Hill, and everywhere in between. Whenever Conrad takes on a film project he dives deep into the culture to get to know the story and become an expert on the subject. His films have won many prestigious awards including a Regional EMMY Award. Whether its through his films or his podcast, Conrad’s goal is to inspire to live a life of meaning and purpose.