International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, Inc.
International Critical Incident Stress Foundation, Inc.
By: Paul V. Jockimo, ICISF Faculty & Member since 1996
Without question, these are scary and stressful times. As the COVID-19 pandemic grows and worsens by the day, so does the fear, anxiety, discomfort and restlessness for many. Seemingly, the fear of the unknown breeds more fear. It has quickly become a viscous cycle.
The exact where, when, how and why this terrible virus is contracted or spread, is yet to be fully understood. Add to this, the wide variations in the severity with which people are being effected. For many, maybe most, the symptoms may be hardly noticeable or mild. For others, their illness is much like a bad bout of the flu. Yet sadly for others, the impact is much more significant, resulting in intensive hospitalization or even death.
Many thousands are working from home, participating in distance learning, have been furloughed or let go from their jobs. Many are struggling with not knowing whether they will have a job, or their business, to return to when life gets “back to normal”. Countless parents and children, in compliance with the “social distancing” mandate, are in many cases forced to be apart from their loved ones. The social support networks that are often our family, coworkers, fraternal, civic or faith-based affiliations are temporarily fragmented.
While we distance ourselves from others physically, strategically and yes, socially, we must be careful not to do so to the extent that we fully disconnect. Rather, a golden opportunity presents itself if we are open to embrace it. Can we help others if we cannot be near them? Can we help ourselves by helping others? Without question, the answers are yes. Simple acts go a long way in helping us remain connected to others. Maybe we set a goal of checking on five or ten people each day. The healing quality of a caring phone call to another who is isolated also, cannot be measured. In fact, the benefit of such may be felt on both ends of the line. Using apps such as Facetime, Skype, or another social media platform, are simple ways to stay connected and to break the grip of isolation. Or maybe this is the time to have that talk with someone we’ve wanted to have, or to say those things that we needed to say, but thus far had not taken to time to do so.
While sequestered, we can take the time to do those things that we have been setting aside for “another time”. That language we wanted to learn, the online course, new recipe or do-it-yourself project we’ve wanted to try, now await us. No, this isn’t the “make lemonade out of lemons” speech. It is however, the chance to be empowered, when maybe we feel that power itself has been stripped of us. It is the chance to do something positive, when there is an abundance of pain and suffering all around. And, it is an opportunity to open a great gift that has been placed in front of us…that of perspective.
Alas, the gradual clarity that emerges from the blurred haze of difficult times. The ability to see, focus on and embrace those things that truly matter most. These are not times for politics, egos, division or pontification. Instead, these are times for reflection, re-evaluation, service to others and love of one another. Replacing bitterness with betterment, hopelessness with helpfulness and solitude with solidarity, are but a few of the mechanisms that may help us though these challenging days.
Points to ponder:
~ Reaching-out works in both directions
~ Caring for others doesn’t matter, until you take the time to show it
~ Your actions may not change the world, but they may change someone’s world
~ Things we should say more: Thank You, Please, I Love You, I Appreciate You, May I Help? & I Need Help
Though certainly not fun, convenient or by choice, the times we are in are unprecedented. The stress that each new moment brings can be overwhelming. The safety measures that have been outlined for us are significant, yet crucial: distance, constant disinfecting, hand washing and the wearing of masks have become the temporary norm. But together, we will get through the isolation. By helping one another we will grow stronger again. And by allowing our goodness to flow to others, we will see the better side of humanity in our neighbors.
Paul V Jockimo is a veteran of 36 years in the fire service. As a lecturer and author, he has spent the past 25 years teaching, providing and coordinating stress management, peer support and crisis intervention throughout the United States. He has been featured in two books: “Don’t Feel Sorry for Paul” (Bernard Wolf 1974) and “American Firefighter” (Paul Mobley 2017)
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